Saturday, April 25, 2009

Love yourself.. :)

Coming back after almost ten days break….too long isn’t it..??...Well can’t really say if I was very busy or too lazy to write…whatever…Last ten days were not very eventful except for certain things like I voted in this LS (Lok Sabha) elections for the 1st time (its not that I just turned 18 this year ;) …for some trivial reasons as excuse…I couldn’t vote earlier)....bought a new phone for hubby..he loved it..others felt it was a waste of money…who cares..!!!..I am happy about it…earning your own money is definitely great but being able to spend it on your own wish is a greater feeling….many may not agree to this…but trust me if you are born in a typical Indian middle class family..then this is very common…when you earn, your family feels proud of you, but the irony is you can’t spend that money the way you want to..(even if it is for the things you feel are right)…you dare do that and you are considered to be a spendthrift…and I do exactly that..which gives me immense pleasure :)…After all unless you love yourself, who else will love go ahead and do what makes you feel happy..pamper the child within you….Its absolutely OK to give a damn to the world and love yourself….each one of us deserve it…!!!!!!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Missed to thank....!!!!!!!!

Another day in office…with some work… (work..??)…some chit chat….lots of mails exchanged and of course the n number of forwards that keeps coming through out the day….most of which we shif+delete after reading or sometimes without even giving a look… such forward that came from a friend today was so beautiful and true. True….!!!!! it was to the extent that, for a second I felt that somebody had peeped in my personal life and composed this piece……

The woods were lovely dark and deep. Walking slowly beside her, in thedamp mud road, was her husband whom she barely knew. He was veryrelaxed, happily watching a group of kids playing at a distance.Her "mehandi" was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of theexcitements and tension 2 days back. "It cant work this waymom...please stop this", she kept telling her mother till the lastmoment, who wouldnt listen but carry on with beautifying her. She hadbeen crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice orthrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face.It was too late now. She had to get married "NOW" to the guy...The guywhom she had seen once and talked thrice. The guy about whom she knewnothing at all but for his name and work. Everything happened in ahurry and everthing was over before she could breathe again... herewas she with this guy, all alone in this hill station... how cananybody send their daughter such a long distance with a stranger???"Hey look at that....!!!" he shouted in excitement... she shrugged andlooked where his finger pointed...Bright colored balloons dotted the sky. Children were jumping in joyand he seemed to be completely absorbed into it...colors are alwaysexciting...but not now. She was not with her friends, not with her teammates, not even with her parents. This was not a 3 day tour or teambuilding trip. This was her life and she has been forced to start offwith this person.Loneliness and discomfort with this stranger was sickening...Shelooked at him in wonder... does he even realize that he has marriedme? Does he understand that he has to love me, protect me, care for me, anew girl, a stranger, all his life?The marriage morning started like a daylight nightmare for her. Thefirst time in life she felt she should have fallen in love and thenmarried somebody. some man who she would have felt more comfortablewith, someone whom she could call by name and introduce to friends,someone whom she could trust. But marriage morning was obviously notthe time to think all these.Her parents would never have said "no" if she had declared that shewas in love. But she was not emotionally attached to anybody shemet, especially guys. She was very friendly, playing, teasing, but neverhad second thought for any man around her. That brought the entireresponsibility of looking for a groom on her parents' shoulders. Herparents had had a very bad time with this entire process. They startedtheir groom search with unending "&" operation. The concatenation of"Horoscope matching" & "Decent family" & "Good looking" & "Good pay" &"same cast" & so on... that always gave 0 output. Now after all that 8months hunt, they were not ready to hear her "ifs" and "buts" for this'good guy'.She had explained to her father. She does not feel anything for thisperson. He is nothing more to me than any other softwareprofessional. Like list of names she sees in the chat rooms. Distantand usual...Her father asked her to talk to him and even meet him anddiscuss their likes and dislikes. That meeting started like theinduction programme self introduction and ended like a 3 hourseminar.She was waiting to get away from that place. "So did you talkwith him?". "yes". "was he polite and decent". "yes". "Oh he got thatspecial flavoured tri-color icecream...!!!".OK. All her family andrelatives discussed...She was given the chance to "understand her lifepartner" and that they have understood each other "well" and she isready for the marriage now.All arrangements geared up and it was 24 days after her first meetingthat she was getting married to her man... perfect match as everybodyelse described. Marriage hall was full with excited people, kids gotthe chance to play, ladies got the chance to wear the silk saree. Thesmell of rose and jasmine filled the hall. Different poses for thephotographer and artificial smiles for the videos. The moment he hadtied the sacred thread was unexplainable vaccum in the head. It wasover.She was his wife. Accepted by the society and law. Her proudparents were relaxed. This was their duty they had been planning tofulfill since she was born. All this crowd will fade away, leaving herto explore her new world...He pulled her hand gently to sit on the stone bench. The bench was wetand the chillness was indeed enjoyable. "So what are you thinkingabout?"... that was an unexpected ball. should she reply? s hould she besilent? She remembered the two hour presentation she had taken lastmonth. Bold and confident, she kept answering all the queries with abroad smile. Now she remained silent. "Do you know honey... I was notfor this marriage too..." Oh my God... what did i hear??? did HE tellthat or did i think aloud? what does he mean? didnt he like me? was heforced into this? He must have noticed the quizzical look on myface...with a gentle smile he continued..."I wanted to look for a girlmyself, buy her everything, care for her, argue with her, laugh and crywith her, then get married to her... Anything otherwise would be adrama. Traditional drama and i was not for it anytime. But my love formy work and also my stress would not give me time and mind to searchthat girl...When your parents talked to me 2 weeks before ourmarriage, about your fear of getting married, to a stranger, i couldcompletely understand your mind. I could see myself in you and thatwas the moment i decided i will marry you. There was no time to provemyself to you, make you trust me, everything happened in a hurry. Butthere was the entire life before me, to please you, to love you, tomake you trust me. This is no less than what i had dreamt, the girl iwas waiting for, is you. Now tell me... will you love me???" Tears camedown her cheek. Her parents had done more than their duty. They hadfound her the perfect guy. Thank you Mom!!! Thank you Dad!!! Hisquestion remained unanswered yet both knew the answer....

Mine being an arranged marriage (so much so that we had not met even once till we faced each other in our best attires for “Jayamala Ceremony” on the D’day) …I really felt this mail so true….but the most important thing I missed to do..taking them for granted (we do that so often with the people we love!!!!) was to thank my Mom-Dad….Ma..Papa…thank you so much for getting me the best….. :)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Just Arrived.. :)

This is my first ever tryst with blogging so really can’t think of much to write…having started writing finally in itself is “THE” thing for me. I always wondered what would one write in blog everyday…is there really so much to write about…but I have no regrets accepting that I was wrong…there is so much in and around to write. Specially for a person like me who is so passionate about talking its tough when there is no body around or unlike me others around me are busy..I can actually write my blog…talking to myself and still not being seen as insane by others ;)…..its fun….Cheers !!!!!!!!......wishing myself a long and happy blogging.